Friday, August 29, 2008

Of my virtual homes

In no order of importance

  • you tube has become some sort of home schooling project for me. I'm finding all sorts of interesting material on stuff thats fascinating me right now. The amount of free high quality information is amazing! Just watching Google Tech Talks is fun! I've found all sorts of vids on biotechnology, mindfulness/awareness, meditation, Oscar de la Renta shows...yum! Forget all those vids of weird folks doing weird stuff!
  • Mit kbh: I love this site because I can always find that perfect place for the yummiest chocolate cake, the cheapest and best veggie food, best smoothies, cocktails etc in Copenhagen. The personal reviews by other city lovers and the numerous tags covering anything and everything anyone would be looking for when going out, makes it purrrrfect for discovering special places to spend ones hard earned money :-)
  • Mygazines.com has all sorts of magazines in PDF format online for free! I can get my InStyle, O and Cosmopolitan hit, just like that. It doesn't beat having the magazines in the flesh though, but still love the site.
  • Tripadvisor comes in handy when I travel (been a while now bohooooo). I love sites where one can get reviews from "normal" people rather than from professional reviewers. I usually use it for hotel reviews but the forums are great for finding info on off-the-track places that other people have discovered in cities of interest.
  • Meetup.com is great for finding groups of people with like interests. I think its more the trend in the west for people to gather around specific interests...cant seem to find meetup groups in Nairobi lol I think the site is quite handy especially for expatriates as it makes it easy to network with like minded friendly people. With groups like "New in Town"...etc...it suddenly becomes easy to make new friends in a new home city or even meet new people for fun, while visiting a new place.
  • CosWeAfrican does a great job of featuring Africans who are doing well in the arts world and seeing as I love Art, Fashion and Design...I love this blog!
  • PirateBay...yup! I'm naughty enough to feature this here. Some of my best life resources came free courtesy of Piratebay :-) hehe
  • Then theres all my shopping sites Nordstroms for clothes, Hairsisters for hair stuff and Amazon marketplace for books.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Of " holding on to my chin going hmmm....."

I'm seeing two groups of people in my past and present life

1) those who go "go for it...if it makes you happy...go for it!!"
2) those who shoot down any ideas with practiced "common sense" and what borders on pessimism...which ultimately turns to be blatant pessimism.

The first group tends to be people who are predominantly happy, growing and not jaded by life. The second group tends to be grumpy people who sometimes like to proclaim that they are just "telling the truth like it is".

I'm working on always being in group number 1 for those around me.

So if it makes you happy....GO FOR IT!! :-) SERIOUSLY!

Of role models

Ole Henriksen!!!! :-)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

of beliefs

Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. Buddha

When its your truth you'll know it from a place far deep within you. Listen.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Meditation made easy and fun

I'd always heard of the benefits of meditation and I know people who live and breathe those benefits. From my experience people who meditate are happier, more focused, creative, abundant and balanced...they seem to have a natural proclivity to live life to the fullest and have fun doing it.

But I still had this picture of people who meditate as being Gandhi-scrawny, dressed in shabby linens, giving up anything remotely pleasurable and dying to save a cow...while walking on hot coals (hmmm...ok so I've walked on hot coals but all the rest is STILL up there for me lol). I always thought meditation was about sitting still in that excruciatingly painful cross legged stance, enduring all forms of discomfort for unbearably long periods of time. Even then, I was curious enough to want to try it.

My first attempts at a yoga class were not helped at all by the teacher saying that we should STOP our thoughts!!! All that happened was that I then started thinking about stopping my thoughts...which led to me chastising myself about not being able to stop thinking...and then frustration over my complete utter failure at achieving calmness. I believe I was happier and calmer BEFORE attending that particular class!

My second brush with meditation was much more successful and rewarding. As it is, I'm finding it to be a very great resource in living a conscious and joyous life.

3 easy steps to successful mediation

  1. Find a quiet spot and a comfortable position to be still in. The position doesn't matter, it just has to be comfortable. I usually do it first thing in the morning when I'm still in bed. That way my whole day is centered.
  2. Be still, close your eyes, and focus on your natural breathing rhythm. Focus on the air as it enters your nose, fills your lungs, as your chest expands...and then contracts to let the air out. Thoughts will inevitably pop up, and focus will be lost, but always coming back to feeling the body breathe...feeling your body live...feeling the body nurture itself...seek to give to itself.
  3. Enjoy this state for 15 minutes everyday...sometimes the body twitches or feels numb, one can also get as sensation of pins and needles or like the body is swaying. The key is to experience everything and let it be. The result is a gentle calmness, clarity and subtle joy.
Meditation is NOT about not thinking. Thing is, we cant not think. We can however be in a state of observing. Like listening to our thoughts...which we do ALL the time, only difference when meditating is that we don't engage the thought by continuing the train of thought...the thought comes and is allowed to go just as easily as it came. Meditation is about allowing what is happening to happen...without stopping it or enabling it...so a thought about fixing the roof is not followed by a thought about calling the repairers or when to do it...the thought is just observed and acknowledged...this becomes easy because the focus of the thinking mind is on the natural act of breathing. Isn't it fabulous that our bodies breathe be default? Well that default process is the focus of meditation and focus to it calms and soothes and brings wellness.

Of the journey

I couldn't have said it better if I tried:


“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” Bob Moawad


I'm feeling very empowered by messages that preach self-responsibility and urge one to look inward in every single situation. I'm surprised that I find relief in taking responsibility for EVERYTHING that has happened in my life, given how much indignant energy and how much egoic manic power I'd get from rants about my mum, ex, bitchy girlfriends or nasty bosses...etc
Isn't it true that one FEELS elevated and bigger physically when one is blaming others, its an energy that literally inflates and gives some temporary relief...that feeling of being right and the other wrong...even though thats not the label one is using.

What I love about being responsible for every experience in my life, be it someone insulting me, hurting me or buying me flowers...is that it puts ME in the all important DRIVERS seat! I don't have to take anything I don't want to, and I can orchestrate more of what I want. Things have their natural flow...and I cant nor have I any wish to control life or anyone else...but I decide what my response is based on what I want my life experience to be. BRILLIANT :-)

Cant believe I'm learning this now!!!

I'm learning that this process is one that occurs every minute of the day!!! When I'm alone and most importantly in my interactions with others. I have to keep grounding myself, doing mini meditations and the asking, "what is my intention/ what do I want?" This technique is so POWERFUL...because I'm finding that everything that happens from that space is something that is in line with those things I hold dearest and that I enjoy the most.

I unintentionally set my intentions to experience joy, love, fun, creativity and growth, after my break-up last year. I was completely clueless at the time, miserable (though ignorant of the fact), in denial and in victim mentality...blaming certain people for certain outcomes in my life.

Interesting really, looking back, knowing what I know now...there is something so dis-empowering about giving others so much power...something dis-empowering in expecting others to make you happy, love you, enable you, appreciate or validate you or letting others have the power to make you miserable, hate you or devalue you. I'm learning to identify the power others have over me, the emotions they evoke, positive or negative, to give those experiences their rightful place, ask to learn the intended lesson, and THEN to always return to my own frame of reference..."what do I want/what is my intention".

I can now see how everything has lined up for me to experience my intention. My biggest effort in all this time has mainly gone towards knowing and loving myself unconditionally :-) And its the biggest gift ever to witness this person I'm becoming as a result of this :-)

I'm enjoying the journey!!!

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”

Uknown?

"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time".

T. S. Elliot


“There is no better time than right now to be happy.Happiness is a journey, not a destination.So work like you don't need money.Love like you've never been hurt, and, Dance like no one's watching...”

Uknown?


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Of power mantras...sådan der moster!

I am wanting

...to be peace: as peaceful as the furthest spot visible in a clear blue sky
...to be joyful: somersault yippee doo, tears down my cheeks joyful
...to be love: accepting, allowing, acknowledging, appreciating and wondrously affectionate
to do this in a spirit of fun amused bewilderment
present in every single juicy drop of LIFE!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Of one of my nowness

Can you?
feel
On your skin
The sweet soft caress
Of the no thingness of air
Can you
Be silent
and FEEL
Ah heaven!

Of coolness or hotness...whatever temperature you want

Rihannas "Disturbia" is just too cool/hot for words!


No more gas in the rear
Can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said
Can't even speak about it
All my life on my head
Don't want to think about it
Feels like I'm going insane
Yeah

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It's too close for comfort

Put on your brake lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight?
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia


Faded pictures on the wall
It's like they talkin' to me
Disconnectin unknown calls
Your phone don't even ring
I gotta get out
Or figure this thing out
It's too close for comfort

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
I feel like a monster

Put on your brake lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight?
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

Release me from this curse I'm in
Trying to maintain
But I'm struggling
If you can go go go
I think I'm going, ah ah ah

Put on your brake lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight?
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

Sunday, August 17, 2008

of meanings

Hmmm...I can see how this is true

"Life is meaningless, in the sense that it is neutral. I chose to attach meaning to it as I experience life and the meaning I attach, good or bad, is the reality I experience."

Taking that a step further

"Only state of being matters circumstances do not matter."

Saturday, August 16, 2008

I'm old

Almost old...mature is the word. My personality right now fits into the characteristics of a mature soul. It's so funny, I think I've gone through the first 4 levels in the last 2 years alone!!! And I can tell I'm not done yet! As it is, I am a level 5 mature soul:

Level 5
"The mid-cycle mature soul seeks to integrate right relationship with self, family, and friends, while assimilating the experiences of the first three levels of this soul age. This soul, above all else, endeavors to incorporate all relevant accumulated knowledge into his/her lifestyle. This fragment is generally deeply intuitive and contemplative, and requires alone time to process data more often than other fragments. Public outpourings from the psyche are common at this level. The poets W. B. Yeats, Jelaluddin Balkhi (Rumi), Leonard Cohen, T. S. Eliot, Percy Shelley, and Yevgenny Yevtushenko are/were all mid-cycle mature souls, as are/were the writers Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky, Jean Genet, Virginia Wolfe, Anais Nin, Victor Hugo, Anne Rice, Mary Renault, and Barbara Kingsolver, as were the philosophers Plato, Michel Foucoult, Bertrand Russell, and Immanuel Kant."

I'm really enjoying the journey, now that I know a little of what the hell (heaven! I mean heaven) it's about LOL

Friday, August 15, 2008

Of one of many ahas

Defense is the first act of war.

Hmmm...thats why he said "turn the other cheek" ahaaaa! :-)

The answers keep coming and I'm enjoying opening my eyes to a world that is loving, joyful and yielding.

It's interesting to notice how resistant I am to joy and claiming emotional positiveness....negativity seems to have such an attraction. Its madness! But now I am aware of the power of my thoughts and can identify the negative ones when they pop up..and then consciously work at reaching for positive thoughts. It is so empowering to become aware of my power to create my joy. I am happy because I chose to be not because something outside of me is happening. Obviously, this is work in progress...and my understanding is that it always will be work in progress.

Funny how all this stuff is down to beliefs and how I completely did not understand my own posts about how "the mind comes to take on the nature of that with which it is influenced".

Scary that we are surrounded by images and messages that we endorse but that in reality are filled with dis-empowering beliefs. Yet, it is this environment that makes it all the more sweeter to be able to feel empowerment anyway.

In the spirit of influencing my mind with uplifting messages that are clearly enabling me to live a larger, funner and sassier life, I'm really loving Oprahs Soul Series.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Of deserts

Underneath the oatmeal
that is the cloak, the conditioning
the utterly boring tedious beliefs
Is the pure delicious divine
dark rich mouthwatering
Chocolate!
This life is!

I'm enjoying the journey :-)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I feel

Like I've climbed a wall

at first desperately scratching
sliding hopelessly to the the bottom
and not even knowing it
repeating the same old dance
different steps, different strokes
same dance
aye same dance

by grace
an invisible hand reached
by grace
an abrupt stop opened my eyes
and my heart
and made me want to really climb
only then could I see the vines
bracing the facade like a ladder
and then, only then
the dance stopped

forever

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Of pills that are hard to swallow

I'm learning...

That my everyday life experiences are a reflection of my inner state of being.
That every time I criticize, chastise, condemn, judge or find another lacking or wrong
I am criticizing, chastising, condemning and judging myself
That which I dislike in others, is most likely that which I need to work with in myself

I'm wanting...

to be accepting
surrendered
non resistant
fully allowing of myself and others.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Of a remarkable night out

Soulful discussion of Tolle. AHA moments galore. The honesty. The cats. Minky the other odd sweet curly coat cat. Being nosy. Looking for the bum book. Finding the Big Penis Book instead. Being shocked over finding big penises in the Big Penis Book. Duh! The giggling. Then shock Biiiiiiig penises are scary.



Oohing and aahing over the shoes. Planning journey to cocktail bar so walking distance is minimized due to oohed and aahed shoes. NOT being able to walk in oohed and aahed shoes. The laughing again. Contemplation over the wisdom of wearing unwalkable in shoes. Nevertheless more oohing and the aahing over the shoes. Setting of to cocktail bar without the address. Finding the place anyway.

The cocktails. Mini Chocolate Martini, Vanilla Thrilla, Death by Chocolate, Grape Fruit Julep!




The savoring and tipsiness. Planning fun stuff. More laughing. The wobbling and tottering home.

The ease of being. Joy. Fun. The friendness of it all.

A night well spent.

Thanx H. x

Love therapy

the African way lol

Saturday, August 09, 2008

this AND that

THIS which is seeking is THAT which is sought, and THAT which is sought is THIS which is seeking. 'All Else is Bondage; Non-Volitional Living' - Wei Wu Wei

Here's to freedom and conscious living!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

I'm on a roll

This is for DS

You
Haven’t heard?
The past has no hold
And even if it did
Yours has treasures abound
Your future too
For see, the sweet spirit
Lovely and gentle
Clever
Playfully sneaky, joyously willful
Divinely softly godly
That you are
Do you doubt?
Surely not!
You are beauty itself
Nothing less! Only more.
Oh honey, Only more.

as inspired by HK

Out of the bounds of history's shame and doubt
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I unfold
As a flower, tender beauty abound
As the breeze, caressing fresh and sweet
Reaching in, pulling out the goodness that is me
Welling and swelling, I dance playfully on the tide
Of all the buried gold that I find
Discarding, like a hot stone, the illusion of anything less
And embracing joy and splendour
Love and pleasure
I rise!...
I rise!

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Of starting points

I'm back to ground zero...I grew up with my mum telling me how bad selfishness is, and she instilled copious amounts of guilt in me when and if I showed signs of even taking reference from my own desires or point of view. So I've always worked to please others...and never really understood why that felt fake and untrue. I've always also been convinced that I'm incapable of loving, really really convinced! Now I know why.

From ground zero, I'm realizing that I cannot love others If I don't love myself. I cannot please others, not for long anyway and not all the time...but I can please myself all the time. I cannot know for others...but I can know myself.

I'm discovering the art of selfishness...

Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others. Selfishness is the opposite of altruism.

Next book on my shelf after "The Power of Now" will be "The Art of Selfishness" by David Seabury.

I'm enjoying the journey :-)

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Of FUN laws...or not...depending...

The universe is absolutely abundant: meaning that it is abundant in good and bad.
The law of attraction works: whether you know of it or not, want it or not.

Which end of the abundance are you attracting?

Monday, August 04, 2008

hmm...I most definitely would

Apropos excitement, I have a crush on darling Ne-Yo. I absolutely loved "In my own words" and I'm most definitely loving "The year of the gentleman" ....ah the stuff serenades are made of. Sigh :-)

Of excitement