a search for sanity or..........

Diving into this

2012-01-02T17:28:00.002+01:00

Riri: I feel...like I'm starting something and I don't know where it is going.
Queen: Do you need to know?
Riri: mmmm...yes...and no. Knowing feels safe, not knowing is freedom...so yes and no.
Queen: You can know if you want to.
Riri: *Quiet, trying to listen for any info that leads to knowing*

Mmmmm...Im in a Jamie Foxx kinda mood!

2011-05-07T02:00:00.003+02:00

Thank God that he makes them like this! lol

Cocktails of love

2011-04-07T20:03:00.002+02:00

Taste of joyful eagerness
Look healthy strong bushy tailed and bright eyed
Sing words of elation and caressing light flying freedom!

Feel intensely light filled
Transparent clarity, ingenuity
Exciting!

Then the innocent unbridled affection!
Invincible!

Wihiii...2011...going on 2012.
Cocktails of love.

They're HERE!!!

2011-04-07T19:57:00.003+02:00

About goddamn time. And I'm ready to play :-D

Why women stay single

2011-02-21T20:58:00.001+01:00

Couldn't stop laughing when I saw this lol

Lé salsa

2011-01-30T12:00:00.004+01:00

IS hot and elegantly rythmic
Sensual and maddeningly fun
liberating and exhilarating
soul, heart and love food.

It sings my body and dances my mind
Unfolding the woman of me
the man in him
teasing, sweaty, playing

And oh so naughty :-)

The Highly Sensitive Person

2011-01-28T07:29:00.004+01:00

Of him Pearl S. Buck wrote:

To him...

a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.

My HSP traits.

I avoided being around other children when I was a child myself. I found children to be noisy, obnoxious and stressing! I still do.

I cut people out of my life when my relationship with them stresses me. The list of cut out people gets longer, the older I get.

I get startled easily and by almost anything.

I have an aversion to daily routines. I need to shake things up, once in a while, or I feel imprisoned.

I get concerned and think or worry about many things, and have also been told "you take things too personally." I'll be worrying about something someone told me in passing, while the someone doesn't even remember that they said the thing.

I can intuitively sense when someone is not telling me the truth, or they are trying to manipulate me or anyone else.

I'm just generally more aware of subtleties in relational dynamics. At this point, I really dislike this trait. A party or cafe visit is just not a party or cafe visit. It turns into a psychological study of the meaning of life in my mind!!!

I love living near large water bodies. I currently live near a lake and will be moving to a place near the sea. I also take looooong showers. Waters soothes me :-)

I am very conscientious, hard working, and meticulous, but I become uncomfortable and less efficient or productive when being watched or scrutinized. In fact I'll become a complete klutz, if someone is watching me to see if I can do something, or if I'm required to prove my abilities.

I am easily overwhelmed by chaos or clutter. I haaaate messes! Love a tidy room, preferably painted all white and with minimal furniture (also white).

I cant watch televised programs. The adverts rattle the hell out of me. All that racket (do they increase the sound for adverts???) and the quick flashing images...urghhhh!!!

I cant watch horror movies. I avoid sad movies and any troubling stories. As I somehow internalize the VERY worst of what is being shown or told and then replay it as if it were happening to me!!!!!!

I am empathetic, conscientious (sucks! always seems to work as a disadvantage) and I focus on solutions.

I need my days under the duvet, or I'll break down (this is getting worse with age, it seems).

I get very tired if I spend time too much time with people. I need my alone time, otherwise I feel imprisoned and start feeling like I want to flee, form this palnet. Literally...if I had a rocket, I'd be gone!

I'm still trying to make something of all these disjointed traits. Apparently HSP's are very creative and gifted, and I do see people recognizing something big in me, but the moment they do that, I disappear. I hate the attention, it feels damn suffocating. So, so far...I'm still searching....

I'm a VB fan

2011-01-24T16:49:00.003+01:00

Victoria Beckham rocks my world. She comes across as so sweet and full of humor in interviews, and it makes me want to channel a little of that in me :-)

This video for her stunning dress collection is a case in point.

I also love personalities that most other people love to hate. I find that most people spend their time hating rich people who seem to be getting on with their fab lives...and THAT may be the real reason for the dislike (I mean like what's so sad about Jennifer Aniston (she rocks too) being single???? Seriously???).

Anyway, Victoria Beckham rocks!!! And she inspires me to be naughty, funny, witty and fabulous :-D

Blogs I like

2010-11-30T20:07:00.003+01:00

Are you black and you love to travel? Then you'll love "I'm black and I travel" :-)

There's nothing better than getting travel inspiration. Imblack&Itravel uses a soulful rich language full of humor, in a way that makes travel feel easy and doable :-) Brilliant.

Controlling people by Patricia Evans

2010-11-23T15:46:00.004+01:00

Patricia Evans author of the revolutionary book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship. How to Recognize it and How to Respond" is also the author of "Controlling People", a powerful book about the dynamics of controlling people and their thought mechanisms.

If you're in one of those relationships where you find yourself feeling depleted and tired, belittled and assaulted, without ever knowing exactly why you're feeling like that, then this could be a good book to get your hands on.

In "Controlling People", Evans describes how one can easily recognize a controlling person in the early stages of a relationship as they will almost always want to tell you what to feel and/or think.

Usually this is done in a loving manner, almost like they are trying to help.
A response to sharing ones feelings, perception or choices can be:
"Oh no that's not it, you're just tired...go and rest"...
"No honey, you misunderstood, you know how you can be so sensitive"
or "You know you don't like that color, you always like this one".
Or the easily recognizable "I know you, you always xxx..."

Which all sound innocuously caring...

However, all those sentences are basically negating the experience of the person sharing, and redefining it instead. If this is allowed to continue, the controlling person will eventually only relate in this way, constantly defining another's reality and experience and not seeing or hearing the other person as they are, or as they choose to be.

The thing with these kinds of relationship dynamics, is that they are hard to pinpoint. Someone telling you " You are always so pretty" seems harmless, and the comment will probably go unnoticed...or "You read too much"..."your too intelligent"...all very harmless but just slightly unnerving for the one receiving these comments. There's nothing untoward about them...but they're not very pleasing or friendly either.

But the thing with those kind of comments, is that they get the recipient to want to defend themselves..."No I'm not just tired, I really do feel xxx"..."No I don't read too much...actually I also..." however this kind of defensive talk leaves the person doing the defending, feeling depleted and exhausted without really knowing why.

Evans describes how controlling people relate to a lack of their own sense of self, by defining others, describing how childhood conditions can result in a sense of disconnection in the controlling people, that prevents them from really being in touch with their own intuition and feelings.

From interviews she's held, she's found out that controlling people rarely remember the details of their controlling behaviors. They seem to lose touch with their own sense of reality and act automatically.

So what's the secret to dealing with controlling people? According to Evans, one should gain awareness of the dynamics of such relationships. This helps a lot, as most cases really are generically text book. Insanely so!!! I have read conversations I've had with CP's in books and wondered if the author had been in the room taking notes.

Also, Evans recommends not engaging controlling behavior by being defensive. Responding by repeating "what?" "what did you say?" "What do you mean by that?" to a CP, may stop them in their tracks.

In my experience , repeating what they have just said back to them in a "so when you say xxx, you mean?"...or "Did I just hear you say xxx" or "so then your opinion is xxx" or "you think that xxx" kind of way, makes it clear that they are saying something that only relates to themselves, and that you have your own separate identity, that they are welcome to enquirer into but they have no right defining.

One of those days when...

2010-11-08T09:29:00.003+01:00

I get a spam mail that says that I've inherited $17 500 000, and I wish, reaaaaally hard, that it was true.

I look up to the skies and keep saying "beem me up scotty" and actually wait for something to happen. It doesnt.

I feel like a round peg in a square hole (yup, not the other way round). I seem to fit, wish I did...but I don't.

I'm not E.T. I do wanna go home though...and I want to stay there.

Hmmm....more that makes me go mmmm

2010-10-02T16:32:00.005+02:00

Boris Kodjoe (bit of a name there lol)is featured in a style editorial, in this months InStyle (US). He's now starring in "Undercovers", which I'm undoubtedly going to watch now. A bit of eye candy should make up for the loss of my beloved "Dirty Sexy Money", Lipstick Jungle" and "Cashmere Mafia". Sigh. Life is so tough for me bohooo.

:-)

Zeitgeist Addendum: Resource based society

2010-10-01T00:02:00.002+02:00

I LOVE this movie!

I haven't heard a more qualified presentation of a society based on the well being of human beings, as opposed to profit, than the one presented in this documentary.

I cant see how it is not absolutely insane that we have a world based on monetary profit rather than well being, joy and happiness.

To this day, I am amazed that the NATURAL states of happiness, joy and love are scoffed at as wishful and wasteful thinking. INSANE!

This documentary explains how a monetary profit based system is sustained by the wrongful idea that competition leads to motivation, growth and wealth. The reality is the opposite. Think about it...competition leads to unethical and throat cutting actions...basically a "I'll kill you before you kill me" strategy...and eventually, to corruption.

Zeitgeist talks about ABUNDANCE (yay...I'm hearing this word more and more) being the order of the day...rather than the illusion of scarcity. Scarcity of water, power and food. Basic needs which could easily be covered by the development of clean technologies.

Zeitgeist encourages incorporating green living as much as possible, choosing banks based on ethical monetary policies and abandoning military practices.

Change and growth are natural. Competition and scarcity are illusions. Abundance is.

Daily note from the wise and benevolent universe :-)

2010-06-08T13:59:00.001+02:00

Insecurity is the greatest social piranha in the pool of human
existence.

Yet discovering that no matter what anyone else thinks, you can
still choose your own thoughts, manifest your own things, and live happily
ever after is like wearing underwater, titanium body armor in your favorite
color, with built-in rabbit ear slippers and a ghetto-like hoodie.

Priceless :-)

www.tut.com

I'm loving: Alex Dezen

2010-04-12T20:00:00.003+02:00

I really love it when I find something that I inexplicably like, right out of the blue. When I heard Alex Dezen's songs on the movie "Chaos Theory" my mind went still. When I like something this much my whole body tingles :-D Best feeling ever!

Not the kind of music I usually like but I love the lyrics and his throaty voice. Go Damnwells and Alex :-)

Cars that make me go mmm

2010-04-04T19:29:00.002+02:00

Mazda Kabura and the scrumptious sls Mercedes.

The Easter Browl: the modern emotionally sulky man

2010-04-03T11:12:00.004+02:00

Its not the first time I've seen a friends boyfriend covertly drop a stinky emotional bomb right at the point where his girlfriend is having a good time. I saw my ex do this, time and time again (thanks dude :-) I'm stronger and happier now, because of you). As I look around at my co-habiting sisters, it hits me, they are emotionally stable happy women, up until the point their man finds a perfect excuse to throw a tantrum about something, anything.

My solution: No co-habitting. That way, I always kick his sorry sulky ass out when he decides to put a damper on my lovely life for NO APPARENT good reason. And a zero tolerance policy on disparaging behavior. (Man it up dudes!)

The Browl itself.

Starring: Mr. Sur Prut (Sour Fart) and My friend (his girlfriend) Kate (not her real name).

The Scene: Lovely small get together at Kates pretty apartment, three beautiful happy girls drinking wine and enjoying hor d'oeuvres and listening to good old school soul(food) music. Mr. Sur Prut is enjoying the company too, listening in on the interesting uplifting quirky conversation.

All is well until Mr. Sur Prut starts making small comments about keeping the noise down as the neighbours have a small child. He seems oblivious to the fact that one cannot hear the "noise" from our happy communing, in the sitting on the first floor, from the bathroom downstairs, in the same apartment!

We placate the man, pointing out the obvious (no noise, non to cause alarm)and continue to have a deliriously good time.

Mr. Sur Prut finally goes to bed in the bedroom downstairs.

An hour later, he calls for Kate. We know something will happen and sure enough, we are soon listening in on details of their life that we should NOT be privy to.

Essentially, the Prut, starts listing all the financial benefits that Kate enjoys courtesy of his excellency, Mr Prut. He says he's stressed, has lots of work to do over Easter and that Kate is being inconsiderate.

Kate tells him that we are not making noise and that she'll soon come to bed, they can take things up in the morning.

We continue having a good time. Kate is hell bent on us staying over, it's been a while since she had such a nice time.

Mr. Prut escalates the drama by coming upstairs and repeating the list of things...using the same verbage , like he's on repeat play. It's hysterically comical! and pathetic too.

We continued to have a good time. We know the game. Mr Prut continued to come up and perform for us, with his manic rant. Kate was having non of it and she would not go to bed until we all were so tired, we could hardly keep our eyes open. The last hour of us chatting was just so she made a point. And I could see why.

Lets forget the fact that we were not making any noise that could stop him, or anyone, from sleeping in the same house. Let's start with the fact that it's NOT his apartment, he can mosy on home to his place.

He could also be the (more than 10 years older) grown up and appreciate that his girlfriend is enjoying her easter with loving friends.

Yes he has to work, but there's a whole weekend and a holiday Monday left...plenty of bloody time. So instead of stewing in his emotional stench, he could choose to get some sleep.

Yes, he does help Kate financially, but were the table turned, and Kate was 10 years older, she'd be earning more than him and helping him instead, it's not a badge to wear like a heroic martyr.

Essentially, Mr. Prut was making a big fuss for the sake of making a big fuss.

Pity. Such a pity.

Nappy hair is infectious

2010-03-15T18:12:00.003+01:00

There is a charming peculiarity to the stubborn coiliness of natural african hair that is just positively beguiling and infectious.

Yes, I moan and groan about looking like a boy, or clown (depending on the day), or how I'd like long flowing locks...but it's all for show. Deep down inside, I feel a love and affection for my nappy kunta kinte locks, that leaves me glowing with pride and prancing about like a poodle.

I've even had a love interest write a poem to me in which my hair features as: "I want to lose my fingers in the stormy clouds of your hair" ..eh eh...wacha tu lol

And now a friend is definitely going natural too. I've also noticed how a lot of the other naturals also have hoards (ah ok..."hoards" is an exagerration for dramatic effect)....of friends and family who also go natural.

I've been blessed enough to discover natural products by Anita Grant and Faith in Nature, which leave my hair happily and softly nappy. Great products that work! are essential when it comes to natural hair...it's that or total insanity and impossible locks, followed by a fall back to the crack cream.

Let's see how many more of my friends catch my nappy fever of joy :-) While it lasts...

Natural treatment for blackheads and pimples

2010-02-26T10:59:00.002+01:00

A week of applying lemon juice on my face before bedtime and I can see a marked decrease in pimples and blackheads.

I've been taking herbs to get my hormones back to their normal levels, after years and years of being on the pill, and I think! I think that I sort of triggered my body back to its teenage years...pimples and all.

Anyway, now there's no harm done, my hormones are balanced (no more period pains!)and my pimples and blackheads (I say that endearingly now that they are on the retreat) are slowly becoming a distant memory.

Besides that my skin tone has improved loads as well!!

I've also used honey and cinammon as a mask, a couple of times...and it cleans my skin really well.

Just a heads up for anyone out there with gorgeous skin, that's hiding unnderneath some well meaning but very annoying pimples and blackheads :-) You'll have to do the research yourself...but as with all natural remedies, with no monetary profit for producers...scientific proof of effectivity is lacking and most of the stories of "results" are anecdotal...it doesn't make them any less real. If you feel inspired, try the lemon juice...and see for yourself :-)

Enlightenment made easy

2010-02-09T20:17:00.002+01:00

Ah, the simple joy of learning something new.

Just saw a very expressive gay guy speak of how "nippy" the weather was while pointing at his nipples, and suddenly the connection fell into place.

Been using the word without any appreciation of its anatomical reference...haha...and now I'll have a very interesting image in my head, when I do use it again.

Brilliant! lol

Expansive consciousness

2010-02-05T13:20:00.003+01:00

When I read Byron Katie, I can feel my whole mind shifting, and even feel the times when it doesn't want to shift. The lower mind likes to hold onto stuff, like a dog with a bone, and Katies words are, in my opinion, all about fluid, infinite and undefinable consciousness. This bogggles my lovely mind at times, and other times, I let go, and get a glimpse of a freedom...freedom that is blissfully indescribable :-D:

"A clear mind sees that any past is just a thought. There's no proof of the validity of any thought, other than another thought. And even that thought is gone, and then the thought "that thought is gone" is itself gone. There is only "now" and even "now" is a thought of the past. Actually the universe has no beginning, and it is always over."

Just a thought...oops!

Food for thought...

2010-01-29T06:42:00.022+01:00

Decidedly uncanny, don't you think? That some veggies resemble the organs they benefit?

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye...and YES science now shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart is red and has four chambers. All of the research shows tomatoes are indeed pure heart and blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows that grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebelums. Even the wrinkles or folds are on the nut just like the neo-cortex. We now know that walnuts help develop over 3 dozen neuro-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet the body pulls it from the bones, making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Egg Plant, Avocadoes and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight and prevents cervicle cancers. And how profound is this? .... it takes exactly 9 months to grow an Avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 phytolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the motility of male sperm and increase the numbers of sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.

Grapefruits, Oranges, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mamary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like body cells. Todays research shows that onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial lasyers of the eyes.

Bananas, Cucumber, Zuchini and more target the size and strengh of the male sexual organ. It's true

Peanuts have a profound effect on the testicles and sexual libido. Peanuts were banned as a food for males by the church ofin during the middle ages. Most people don't realize that arginine, the main component of Viagra, comes from peanuts.

When I came across this article the first time, I went on a research mission, reading all i could on whole foods. I'm now a firm believer in natural chemistry, and only endorse synthetics in dire emergency situations.

Should natural food benefits and medicine become everyday knowledge? I think so! Will this knowledge become more widespread? Hope so. I really hope so :-)

Kundalini awakening

2010-01-24T21:28:00.002+01:00

Sometimes I feel like I speak a different language...same words as every other english speaking person, but different language altogether :-)

Awakening usually describes the action of ceasing to slumber, but nowadays that word means a heck-of-a-lot more to me.

In any case, I've found someone who writes about awakening in a very profound and leading-edge way, a way that resonates with the deepest ethers of my soul.

For those asking the BIG questions in life and experiencing "changes" in psyche...this is a good, and somewhat heavy, read.

Among other things she writes:

the awakening of kundalini is a synergy and synthesis of body, mind and soul, which our dense culture tries strenuously to avoid. Waking up to the sleep and the pain of deadness is hard work, and then maintaining the momentum and trajectory so that one doesn't fall back into the plenum of consensus trance is even harder. If you look at the absolute great minds in history few of them were able to save themselves from the fury of the ignorant crowd. Modern man has broken down the habitat of the natural man, hooked humanity onto an IV of sugar water and now the sugar water is now seen for what it is.

Thus at present we have the great flux of the dismissal of what can never work and the transfer to an entirely new sustainable culture. Those that try to cling to the past system will suffer, as will those who are simply without a muse-vocation in the transformation to the new culture. The ensouled way of human existence is forced on us from all sides, because the soporific distraction of the sugar water is no longer valid. The old system must be done away with if humanity is to be permitted to grow towards a noble condition...or it will revert to even more of a deadened, soulless creature through the blind power of resistance (fear and greed).

With the science of assisted evolution we can start a new era of civilization and begin to live as a global mystic society, illuminated and synchronized from within. We need no longer pull on the reigns to hold ourselves back. We need no longer cower in fear of the atomic force we embody. We can let that force run free and we can grow to meet our soul’s needs. We can “connect” and know ourselves as the Beloved. Allowing the full force of the bliss of the return itself to wake us up. To do this we need some kundalini coping skills and a faith born of the realization that what this world really needs is a revolution of authentic spirituality—an ecstatic wave of devotion.

I agree :-)

Hihi

2010-01-22T21:01:00.003+01:00

Avatar

2010-01-20T13:59:00.004+01:00

This movie has inflamed so many people, I'm amazed by all the different interpretations...or maybe not.

Apparently the movie depicts the beloved "white supreme" saviour doing good and bringing wisdom to the savages (coloreds). He even mates with the savage princess. Others claim that it is a critic of the white dominated, soulless and destructive coporate America. It is also, seemingly a story about enviromentalism. And yet others are incensed by a story that they claim is too simple and lacking in creativity.

What if it is all those things? What would this world be like if all opnions were considered valid...and we curiously listened to each other, choosing to be amazed and blessed by our differences?...I regress...

My own valid opnion: I saw a different reality in Avatar. I saw a movie that spoke to the best in me. It spoke of the natural beauty in this world, and all the other worlds that exist. It spoke of the changes that are happening now, independent of "little wo/man" and his/her big ideas and technologies. It spoke of the gift of interconnectedness with life. Of a way of "being" that is harmonious, loving and graceul.

I'm not surprised by the noise the movie has created. In noise, truth is obscured. The "little me" in all of us loves noise, and dislikes any atttempt to speak of the "REAL" things. Love, joy, nature, spirit, oneness. (Notice how those states of beingness are shunned as inconsequential) But "little me" will have to sit and listen in the coming times, things are shaking up babes :-)

The earth does not need man to do anything to save it. Earth can survive on its own, without wo/man...the power and beauty of this planet in inconcievable...we are yet to find out:-D...disclaimer: this is my opinion :-)

In my books, a movie is good when it moves people the way this movie has. Most people have a strong "feeling" about it, even when that feeling is "what a load of crap" lol

In the scope of infinite existance, all is valid. all is well.

In this particular expression of existance - lets have more Avatars :-) Yeah!

L:O:V:E = Living. One. Vibrational. Energy.

Who are we?

2010-01-08T12:27:00.003+01:00

Was it always like this?
Was it always about pain and suffering?
About hunger
A killing hunger that leaves...
Leaves pain in all its magnificent (haha) forms?
Was it?
Who were we before they came?
When it was only us and the beauty and grace of the land and skies?
And the spirits.
(All but forgotten now, the spirits)
I want to know. I want to see who we were.
And who we really are.

I've got me some "bad hair"

2009-11-15T17:30:00.001+01:00

I had an idea that black natural hair was considered less admirable, but had no idea how pervasive this was.

So my natural hair, which is currently as nappy as nappy can get, is described as being: nappy, tough, rough, kitchen scrounge, messy, hard to care for, hard to manage, ugly, low-class, unkept, smelly, unprofessional, undesirable, unsexy, embarrassing, woolly, course, unfeminine, funny (and not in a good way) and plain ol’ nasty.

And I’m not exaggerating. Those words were used by black women in Chris Rocks new documentary, which ironically enough is called GOOD HAIR.

It’s no wonder it’s hard for black women to bear their own natural hair.
I went natural because it occurred to me that it’s wierd that I think I’m ugly when I have my own natural hair. I found it wierd dating, swimming, gymming…I just ended up hating the add ons, wigs, weaves, braids and perms, because they were ruling me.

I’m not against doing stuff to my hair, but I want to feel that I’m the master of the process, and not addicted to it.

I think it’s fun to change looks. It’s loads of fun :-) And their’s a lot of creativity that goes into the market…loads of families enjoying the economic benefits of the black hair market. It’s got it’s good side and bad side.

One of the bad sides, that I had never considered before watching good hair, is that Sodium Hydroxide is qualified as an extreme poison. I find this particularly amusing given the fact that vitamins and supplements go through more rigorous control and restrictions than an extreme poison. Hahaha

I wonder who came up with the stuff (crack cream/relaxer) in the first place.

I was going to get some wigs before seeing Rocks documentary. I’m feeling that my hair is getting to the point where I look like a clown I’ve changed my mind now. I will rock this bad ass nasty clown hair and love me, the way I was bloody born.
I’m ugly and loving it.

Who said we all have to be “beautiful” anyway?

What’s beauty anyway?

The funny thing is that white women are just as dissatisfied with their hair. They just dont have deal with the negative connotations of leaving their hair natural.
The even more funny thing is that most white people think my nappy hair is very beautiful. They loved the weaves, braids and cornrows, and they love the nappy too.

So who are the haters? Black people? Are black people propagating their own negative self perception? Why?

Maybe I’ll get me some cornrows…:-)

Wakey wakey

2009-05-20T12:09:00.002+02:00

"Life is a banquet and the tragedy is that most people are starving" Anthony De Mello

I love the simplicity of his teachings. We (humans) really are asleep and we don't want to wakeup. Life is funky. lol

Simplicity

2009-05-12T14:48:00.001+02:00

I'm happy to be happy.

Of love

2009-05-05T09:59:00.002+02:00

The unconditional kind, the kind that is and allows, the kind that is unconceptualizable, so spacious it boggles the mind, I catch a glimpse of this love and I feel a blossoming in me, so joyful.

let it go or be joyful about it

2009-05-05T09:58:00.001+02:00

If you examine your history, you cannot help but repeat it! Law of Attraction says it is so: "Whatever I am looking at, I am including in my vibration." Abraham Hicks

Natural hay fever treatments that work

2009-05-02T10:37:00.002+02:00

I've been trying out different natural treatments (foods and herbs) and so far I'm blown by the results. Granted its the beginning of the hay fever season but I have not suffered any symptoms at all.

My regimen has included taking:
-blueberry smoothies with soya milk
-organic apple juice
-lots of apples
-lots of onions and garlic
-sweet basil (in pesto)
-turmeric powder (in my smoothies)
-milk thistle herb tea with honey

The most important supplement which gives instant results: Acid neutral vitamin C.

According to ayurveda, accumulated wastes and toxins block the channels, trapping the toxins inside the tissues, and activating the immune system. When additional allergens such as pollen or dust arrive on the scene, the already irritated immune system goes into “high gear,” creating the symptoms of an allergy attack. Symptoms will vary depending on the tissue that has accumulated the toxic waste (ama visha.).

The above foods booster the immune system...and since the cause of allergies is toxic waste in the body, it's important to cleanse/detoxify the body as well.

I've done very light fasts (2 days) with fruit juice and cleansing herbs and can recommend them for general well being as well as for alleviating allergies.

not mincing words

2009-04-12T01:37:00.000+02:00

"All sadness is a tantrum."

~ Byron Katie ~

Life is one sweet paradox

2009-03-30T09:25:00.002+02:00

no worries,
as long as I am here
in this body, as this particular expression of life
I will always want more
So I might as well get content
Content and happy and wanting more :-)

Feelings as an indicator

2009-03-26T17:57:00.000+01:00

The reason that you don’t have recall of everything that you were before you came is because, your feeling as you made the decision to come was “I want to dive into this to have new experiences that will cause new expansion, and I’m not worried about it because I know that the expansion will occur and I will feel my alignment with it or not.” Abraham Hicks

Feeli ngs are an indicator of alignment with our true selves...bad feelings = misalignment, good feelings = alignment.

But we've been taught that the bad (pain/hurt/fighting/denial/compromise) is necessary to get to what is wanted lol...I love the irony of societal conditioning.

If it feels bad it's bad. If it feels good it's good.

Rampåge of appreciation

2009-03-22T01:09:00.002+01:00

I totally joyfully appreciate

pub nights with the lovely lot, the red dog cafe, sunny spring days, finding gorgeous shoes and dresses at bargain prices, cycling through the city or by the water, cats, dogs, planning vibrant futures with the lovely lot, talking about rubbish stuff, laughing, dancing, taking taxis, the spa, gyming, Abraham hicks, the crazy Croatian, meetup, the UK, joy, jokes, seeing new places, learning useless trivia that is dear to those I love, watching mushy romantic movies, cute men, Indian food, eating.

Yeah!

Technological musings

2009-03-20T00:56:00.003+01:00

We (humans) are so proud of technological advancements
Its quite endearing actually
Yet somehow I feel that nature is perfect
the signs of this are everywhere
and we've convinced ourselves that it isn't.
So we clammer and compete to create technology
then we clammer and compete to create more technology
to solve the problems created by the technology
we undermine nature
while trying to copy it
failing miserably :-)
Instead of just enjoying the sacred perfection nature is
and creating innovating clean technologies
not because we need them
but just for the fun of it.

Getting busy being happy

2009-03-09T20:31:00.002+01:00

A happy life is just a string of happy moments.

But most people don't allow the happy moment, because they're so busy trying to get a happy life.

Abraham-Hicks

The little stuff makes a difference :-)

2009-03-08T05:41:00.002+01:00

Strolling along the edge of the sea a man catches sight of a young woman who appears to be engaged in a ritual dance. She stoops down, then straightens to her full height, casting her arm out in an arc. Draing closer, he sees that the beach around her is littered with starfish and she is throwing them back into the sea. He lightly mocks her, "there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see, for miles up the beach. What difference can saving a few of them make?" Smiling, she bends down and once more tosses a starfish out over the water, saying serenely, "It certainly makes a difference to this one". The Art of Possibilty by Rosamund Zander and Benjamin Zander

This natural hair of mine

2009-03-07T11:28:00.003+01:00

My hair is a constant happiness moment at the mo.
Its so different and interesting!
Its springy, spongy, malleable (lol!)
Coily at times but mostly has micro curls
It gets really compact and hard after a nights sleep
Then soft after a lovely wash
It responds well to a mayonnaise conditioning
And has me drinking apple cider vinegar
I find myself amazed by its special uniqueness
All in all I'm glad I went natural :-)

Be joyful, shift the world :-)

2009-03-06T10:53:00.002+01:00

Everytime you make a conscious choice to experience an uplifted thought, a high frequency vibration of joy, gratitude or appreciation, there is a shift in the entire matrix of humanity. Every time.

Delightful self-absorption

2009-03-01T20:54:00.003+01:00

Him: I really enjoyed talking to you. I like you.
Me: (No hesitation and laughing...even I was surprised) I like me too.

And I darn do...I like me very much! So much so that I have zero tolerance for my and other peoples drama. There's only space and time for loads and loads of liking :-)

Looking to the children

2009-02-28T12:42:00.002+01:00

They're coming in ready.
They're more intelligent and tuned in to their divinity
Less agreeable with control and manipulation
Watch them in action
They're here to teach love. A divine love.

On to something else...

I had a first experience...and I LOVE first time experiences :-)

This little boy passing me on the street, gave me one of the toothiest smiles ever, consisting of all but two big rabbit teeth, and chirped in the cheeriest of voices "Hello African!"

I could only smile back and chirp "Hello" with as much gusto as he.

Felt like the most comrade like greeting I've ever received. It made me think "hey! I'm African! cool!" *giggle*.

To take or not to take vitamin supplements

2009-02-15T22:09:00.002+01:00

Doctors will tell you that a healthy diet is enough to cover all vitamin and mineral requirements and that vitamins are a waste of time.

People (me included) who take GOOD vitamin supplement pills daily will tell you that they never or rarely get sick.

You decide.

My one wish

2009-02-14T11:51:00.001+01:00

I have the lamp...have rubbed it...and the big great genie wishes to grant me one wish....what is it?

"I wish to embody unconditional love and live to my souls highest potential"

There's no turning back now...wohoooo!

Understanding unwanted realities/manifestations

2009-02-13T16:14:00.001+01:00

"According to the law of attraction whatever we fixate on we manifest. Therefore whatever we invalidate has to be manifested for us to learn the lesson of the experience, as well as the value of its existence. As a result, whatever we fear, we attract to be manifested, because emotions are only currents of energy with different frequencies containing different experiences and lessons." Principles of vibration

Listening to you

2009-02-12T10:24:00.000+01:00

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” Budha

Choose carefully, but choose you must

2009-02-07T10:14:00.001+01:00

Each of you has the response-ability to choose the thoughts and the creations you
desire. Some of you will choose freedom--because you cannot stand being contained any longer--the lies are simply too great a burden to perpetuate. Others of you will choose imprisonment--for the fear of freedom and the responsibility for personal choice is too much to bear. Kenyon

The fish that keeps getting away

2009-02-05T17:23:00.002+01:00

We always want to know
And then we want others to know that we know
We want them to know what we know
Creating confining reality
But isn't the state of not-knowing more?

Not knowing and being curious
Being playfully curious
Embracing awe and wonder
Being the detached observer of concepts
Not needing to pack everything in neat "safe" boxes
Not needing to identify one self in any one or many ways
Just observing, moulding, musing, trying
before releasing every concept
Remaining curious, free, undefined, undefining.
Infinite and eternal.
Is this not the goal?

If you have a problem with the state of the world

2009-02-02T22:10:00.002+01:00

Excerpts from "A thousand words for joy" by Byron Katie.

"Turn it around: save your world. Isn't that why you want to save the world in the first place? So that you can be happy? Well skip the middleman, and be happy from here! You're it. You're the one. In this turnaround you remain active, but there's no fear in it, no internal war. So it ceases to be war trying to teach peace. War cant teach peace. Only peace can."

"To think that we need sadness or outrage to motivate us to do what's right is insane. As if the clearer and happier you get, the less kind you become. As if when someone finds freedom, she just sits around all day with drool running down her chin. My experience is the opposite. Love is action. It's clear, it's kind, it's effortless, and it's irresistible."

My walls are down

2009-01-29T18:54:00.002+01:00

You're in
Is that what you wanted?
I can feel your halo

I see your face
Even when my eyes are closed
I want to caress you with my eyelashes
Love you with my eyes
Leave you without a doubt

I dont need you
I'm whole, wonderfully blessed
I desire you, want you
Consciously, deliberately
With glee and delight
You're in!!!

Inspired by Sasha's "Halo"

hmmm....

2009-01-28T12:21:00.002+01:00

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant
We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift

Albert Einstein

I had a dream

2009-01-26T03:57:00.003+01:00

That i was riding a white unicorn
And a pheonix was flying with us
We held between us a tapestry
that rained droplets of peace and love
All over mother earth
And when we were done
We landed on a most beautiful beach on Tahiti
And there we sat Unicorn, me and pheonix
Shortly after, tiger strolled from the forest and joined us
And there we watched the sun set
in absolute blissful silence

Peace be on earth.

Truth from a broader perspective

2009-01-24T13:39:00.000+01:00

"The same law applies on the earth plane but humanity does not quite believe it; as you think so you are, is a well-established and worthwhile truth. If you must buy a belief system, buy this one!" Gaia

This is going to be entertaining

2009-01-21T23:10:00.002+01:00

Every governmental agency or department should know, Mr. Obama said, that his administration stands not “on the side of those who want to withhold information but those who seek to make it known. New York Times

Hmmm...guess some truths will be coming forth now. One day in office and he's changed rules on lobbying and salaries...cool!

God has a sense of humour

2009-01-21T11:52:00.002+01:00

His name literally means "blessing"
It is no coincidence then that he speaks powerfully of blessings
He speaks of humility, co-operation and our strong spirits
He speaks of a new age and freedom for all
He speaks of new schools and specifically of science and dogmas being put in their rightful place
He speaks of living in harmony with mother earth
Powerful powerful words of blessing

Love and light to Barack Obama

Break the mould - question traditions

2009-01-20T11:00:00.000+01:00

Is repetitive action virtuous action? If behavior and conduct are merely repetitive processes then all human relationships actually cease. If I behave mechanically every day, - repeating a certain code of conduct which I have learnt, which I find profitable, or which is pleasant, repeating that over and over again, - my relationship with you ceases, completely - I have become a machine. - J. Krishnamurti

Its time for a new dance

2009-01-19T07:35:00.003+01:00

Everything now is orchestrating to get us to look within
To get us to connect to our being essence
To get us to be acceptance, peace, love and joy
Look at the things keeping you from these states as distractions
Look within...look within...we are created complete...divine
Find practices that aid you in looking within...

Turn abouts

2009-01-18T13:29:00.002+01:00

"Life is not about finding yourself, Life is about creating yourself" George Bernard Shaw

Coming out of the closet

2009-01-18T12:08:00.002+01:00

I used to say I'm NOT (said with a lot of vehemence) religious but that I'm spiritual, without ever really knowing what spirit is. Last year was an initiation of sorts into this knowing, and I'm amazed at this "new" world that is unfolding right before my blessed eyes.

I'm the same and yet completely different, things like: higher/inner being, animal guides, spirit guides, lunar magic, numerology, astrology, the divine goddess, the magical healing powers of sound and the universal laws - make ABSOLUTE sense to me.

Perhaps the most precious gift of spirit is knowing that the "Self is the creator of own reality".

There is infinitely more to everything than what meets the eye....and it is truly magnificent :-)

Knowing that I intended to be here now

2009-01-16T16:30:00.001+01:00

"You are not spirits trying to awaken from the dream. Awakening is easy. You just die and go Home, and that is that. No problem. Staying here and carrying the light within your physical body in your daily experiences is where the challenge is, and you are doing incredibly well." The group

Me too...me too

2009-01-12T15:17:00.001+01:00

I finally realized, my task was not to figure out the one answer but to learn how to live...

—Marjorie Williams

I sing you to me

2009-01-09T23:22:00.002+01:00

Ah the sound
Of my heart song
Beckoning you
Softly, with sure velvety tunes
Sang huskily but surely and oh so joyfully
Calling you unmistakably to me
For as my heart sings and dances to the song
My body trembles and yearns to yield to you
Completely, gently, fully.
Do you hear my heart song?
Yes.
Yes you do.
And you come. :-)

Just do it! Get happy :-)

2009-01-07T12:03:00.001+01:00

Everything that I think that I need to do is all only in order to propel me to some place that when I get there, I think I will be happier. So, everything that I am doing, no matter what it is, all of my lists of rights and wrongs… are all about me getting to a manifestation that I believe I will then be happier... So, why don’t I take a short cut and just go get happy? Abraham

Remembering our true essence in 2009

2009-01-06T09:29:00.003+01:00

Our true core being is:

Unconditional love for self and all that is.
Unbridled joy.
Peace and well being.
Wisdom and knowing what we need to know at all times.
Self love, reflection and self appreciation.
Harmony and connection with all that is.
Absolute freedom and infinite abundance.
Eternal.

This is what we REALLY are. These are not qualities we "have" or "acquire" through doing or other means. WE ARE THESE QUALITIES :-)

All that we "have" or "acquire" (as lovely as these things are) we lose...we can NEVER lose ourselves.

We come forth to experience life and experience that which we are not, so we can know more fully what we really are!

The EGO is instrumental in this journey of self discovery. The EGO is a wonderful precious gift. Wierd eh? Especially given that the EGO is:

Conditional love.
Sadness and Despair
Fear and Sickness
Doubt and Ignorance
Self criticism and judgment
Separatism, i.e. separate self and disconnection from all else
Inhibition, Restriction, Scarcity and powerlessness
Doomed to die.

BUT...in experiencing ourselves as that which we are not...that is EGO...we know ourselves better as that which we really are...we come home to who we are with a heightened appreciation...expanded...more.

Know who you REALLY are in 2009.

Spellbound

2009-01-03T18:30:00.003+01:00

That picture speaks volumes...yum!

MTV's The Hills and emotional abuse

2009-01-03T16:13:00.003+01:00

Never thought I'd be watching an MTV reality show but I caught myself following Heidis and Spencers realtionship with interest because there's something I recognize there...

Its actually interesting to see the "emotional abuse" dynamic played out so well as it is by those two...how she "loses" her friends, has her job compromised, starts to doubt herself, how her family starrts fighting and she becomes more anxious and confused than ever before...

Watching Spencer completely ignore her pleas for anything if it is against what he wants, how he just crowds her space until she cant see herself, negating and patronising her every step of the way. Seeing how he insists on making most people enemies, playing people against each other...all very subtle but also cruel.

Scripted or not...they've got the dynamics of "emotional abuse" down!!!

A new year...and new collective beginnings

2009-01-01T19:00:00.002+01:00

The "economic crisis" as many call it, is a new beginning of sorts. If one looks really closely at what is happening now, it is apparent that there's something amiss with the current "economic" system...and from my window it wont stop crumbling until it goes bust....and thats a VERY GOOD thing.

In the meantime we're realising our humanity, even though, as always, distractions in the form of war are competing for our attention.

And just like the economy...other systems will begin to crumble too...the health system and education system...the media...

As this comes to be, I will look to the new, and know that all is well :-)

The new year is here!!!!

Of surrender

2008-12-31T14:05:00.002+01:00

I can't but surrender
to the power in me
Others see it
I'm done hiding from it
I surrender

I'm still of strong will
but now I'm also yeilding
I'm still in this world
but now I'm not of it
I'm still utterly confident
but now I'm also completely vulnerable

In the new year
I come fully into knowing my infinite power
I am a vortex of wisdom and light
unconditional love and graceful joy

I surrender to the highest good for me and life!

so be it :-)

A blessed blessed new year to all. May we all awaken :-)

Oh dear...I'm going napptural

2008-12-21T17:47:00.003+01:00

So this is it eh?
Another big change at the beginning of yet another year
Cutting of my chemical laden locks
Exposing my funny head
And ears
Will be fun learning to love them
Inspired by sites such as nappturality.com and naturalhairdigest.com
I'll be getting to know my natural hair again

I'm going all nappy haired!
*gulp*

Ooo I have to

2008-12-20T09:44:00.002+01:00

I've been looking to what I want.
Looking less and less to what I dont want...
only using the undesired as a platform for knowing what I want.

I want absolute health
The more I read on this topic
the more I find that the body is magnificent
a walking divine machine
This has hardly been my scientist ass impression
thanks to my biiiiig degree lol

The more I read on this topic
the more I discover that what we call food hardly is food
that the powers that be approve of poison as food
and give the real food and anyone wanting to tell others of it
a REALLY hard time
to say the least

Even here in little sweet Denmark!

Ah well
Can only say
educate yourself on your own health
Sickness is an anomaly (not something to be shrouded with painkillers!!!)
health and vitality are natural!
and the shocker?!
Easy to attain.

This is me now

2008-12-19T16:26:00.003+01:00

I am
free, dancing angel in the meadow
enjoying the breeze, the sun on my skin
smelling the flowers of life
listening to their silence
drinking in their beauty
hearing the stream
flowing with the stream
completely trusting in life
completely undone
unknowing, knowing
being unconditional love
light, strength and truth
I am

What I know for sure 2008

2008-12-15T11:16:00.004+01:00

I started this year frivolously wishing to be the best me ever. What followed was a harrowing emotional and physical rollercoaster thats left me breathless and in love with me and life :-)

Is it really so hard to live a healthy happy life?
Do we have to sacrifice tooth and nail to have what we really want?

NO :-)

And I'll be celebrating that knowing into 2009 and beyond.

Hmmmm...

2008-12-13T23:53:00.003+01:00

EARTH

EARTHEARTHEARTHEARTHEARTHEARTHEARTH

EAR THE ART HEAR THE ART HEART...

HEAR THE ART HEART

Of silence and beyond

2008-12-12T23:12:00.001+01:00

"Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star..."

-E .E. Cummins

of reaching the precipice

2008-12-12T22:28:00.003+01:00

there's only one thing to do
look forward
to inclusionary positive growth
to realizing were the darkness and the light
wonderfully whole, each part playing its perfect role
here now
there IS NO them or then

Of the brain

2008-12-11T10:09:00.002+01:00

The people is a beast of muddy brain
That knows not its own force, and therefore
stands
Loaded with wood and stone, the powerless
hands
Of a mere child guide it with bit and rein.
One kick would be enough to break the
chain;
But the beast fears, and what the child demands,
It does; nor its own terror understands,
Confused and stupefied by bugbears vain.
Most wonderful! with its own hands it ties
And gags itself — gives itself death and
war
For pence doled out by kings from its own
Its own are all things between earth and
heaven,
But this it knows not; and if one arise
To tell this truth, it kills him unforgiven.

Minds truly have a power of their own and a very self-defeating one if left unchecked.

That power is nothing, however, compared to the love and grace of the spirit and the strength and wellness of the body :-)

That power is everything if it is in alignment with spirit and body :-)

Of opinions from the other side

2008-12-11T09:32:00.002+01:00

"Your world is pointing toward an insistence on conformity which is causing you enormous grief. It's what's at the heart of all of your religious battles, and religious battles are what are at the heart of all of your battles. In other words, all of your wars and global irritation with one another are over your determination to promote sameness. Your democracy insists that it's the only government that works. And every religion (it's interesting to note) proclaims that it is the only one that works." Abraham

Hmmm...why is it the human brain is wired to seek conformity, act out of habit and fear the unknown...when the dreaded result is usually mundaneness?

Of directions

2008-12-07T19:36:00.002+01:00

"Always look to what you want instead of what you don't want." me

Thats easier said than done...holding thoughts of what I want for more than 20 seconds is one of hardest things to do, for me and for most people. I've however discovered that there is NO VALUE at all in thinking or worrying about things that I do not want...if I cannot act in the moment to solve whatever it is I'm not wanting then I WILL NOT give thought to it. There's just no point. Thinking about what I want makes me happier and thats the point of it all anyway.

of expectations

2008-12-06T20:02:00.002+01:00

"Get unreasonable and everything is possible, if you get reasonable you will have to lower your expectations and drop down to what every average person expects, which leads to an average life"

Anthony Robbins

Lets just say, I'm getting good at being very! unreasonable...and I'm having to hang on to the ride of my life!

Of matters of the heart

2008-12-04T23:01:00.002+01:00

The heart KNOWS what the mind so eagerly is wanting to but barely understands.

In ceasing to expect from others one starts to discover the hidden gold inside that overflows and leaves no need but feeds inspiration and loving action.

of seeking and finding

2008-12-02T18:43:00.002+01:00

Its no secret...I've gone in search of the good things in life and I'm finding them in hordes. My chosen journey (everyone has their own distinct unique one) has me

meditating daily (sometimes twice daily)
working out often and eating vegetarian food
writing rampages of appreciation and positive expectation

The result: I'm sometimes so silly happy that I get happy about being happy...and end up doing hops of joy :-) Its FUN!!!!

I'm noticing beautiful shades of grey on a cloudy day! I'm enjoying the rains and embracing the cold wind as it caresses my skin. Sometimes I don't even realize how wonderful it is that I'm happy about the weather until I hear how disgruntled everyone else is about it...

Of lessons on love

2008-12-01T09:34:00.004+01:00

Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it. As Gandhi said, 'We must be the change. What the ego doesn't want us to see is that the guns we need to get rid of first are the guns in our own heads Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles.

I'm getting rid of my guns
I AM rid of my guns
moment to moment
there's no other way to do it
I am having flowers instead
brilliant colorful beautifully divine flowers

Of heralding the season in cocktails

2008-11-30T11:05:00.002+01:00

Violet Martini (French violet liqueur shaken with Hendrick’s gin, a touch of vanilla and rosé Champagne)
Mango & Basil Daiquri (Mango puree, fresh juice and torn basil leaves shaken with La Maunay Agricole rum and Angostura 3 year white rum)
Apple Smash (Fresh green apple, lime juice and mint muddled with Zubrowka vodka and apple liqueur and lengthened with Champagne)
Almonds Are Forever (Stolichnaya Vanil vodka and Amaretto liqueur with a piece of marzipan)

Three lovely cocktails each (cant remember the last two...lol...something to do with chocolate and cherries), all dolled up, lovely cocktail bar!!!, cute men (I should have told the cutie that he was cute lol...ah well there's always a next time) great company (cheers bebes ;-)) and talk of cats, shoes and clothes...as always :-)

It already is a very merry Christmas!!!

Of what I want for christmas

2008-11-28T09:05:00.006+01:00

A silent anti-gravity s-class and slr mercedes
My very own herb and flower garden (and a gardener to boot ;-) )
Free wireless electrical energy
A one person pyramid in clear crystal

Pretty simple lol
Not too much to ask :-)

Of it being true

2008-11-28T08:53:00.002+01:00

"There are no happier people on this planet than those who decide that they want something, define what they want, get hold of the feeling of it even before it's manifestation, and then joyously watch the unfolding, as piece by piece, by piece it begins to unfold. That's the feeling of your hands in the clay" Abraham Hicks

I was taught not to expect too much...how wrong they were
I was taught to expect the worst so I wasn't disappointed...how wrong they were
I was taught not to trust in joy, goodness and magnificence...to be realistic and down to earth...HOW WRONG THEY WERE!

I'm teaching myself different
and even in the process of knowing well being abounds
I am ecstatic and knowing it gets better!
Just think!
Wohoooooo!

It is unfolding
In ways I NEVER imagined!
and I can only be softly wondrously appreciative!

Of me, conciously living

2008-11-26T22:42:00.003+01:00

I think the simplest message in conscious living, for me, has been how every moment is about choosing love or fear. Thats it! All the other emotions are different expressions of those two...actually some teachings go as far as saying that there is only love and the dis-allowing of love (fear).

Its so simple yet its like trying to tightly grab hold of a wet bar of soap...

All the different forms of fear are so interesting to identify as well lol

It's so weird looking at me now and not being scared of the big bad boogie man inside me :-)

Loving me when I'm: quiet, loving, hating, noisy, clumsy, funny, silly, dancing, lazying, complaining, creating, wanting, inspiring, laughing, sighing, enjoying, growing, learning...

Knowing there are states I prefer and deliberately cultivating those, while making nothing of the states I don't prefer...they just are.

I just am...in every moment.

Knowing I am loved beyond imagination.--feeling blessed, supported, celebrated, empowered.

Mmmmm peace :-)

Of goodness

2008-11-21T13:23:00.002+01:00

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.” Benjamin Disraeli

Love it when friends share their favorite quotes with me. Inspiring words have really become an integral part of my life now...and in an all affirming spirit...I am a friend who does the above
:-)

Abraham says...

2008-11-19T21:37:00.000+01:00

"Just do your best to keep yourself in balance. One of the first things that causes Energy misalignment, is asking or demanding too much of yourself in terms of time and effort. In other words, you just cannot burn the candle at both ends, so that you are physically tired, and then expect yourself to have a cheerful attitude. So, the rule of thumb has to be: "I'm going to be very, very, very happy, and then do everything I have time to do after that."--- Abraham

And I agree whole heartedly :-)

Of re-balancing

2008-11-19T20:46:00.001+01:00

My out of balance Monday got me thinking...

I Know better.

When I expect others to behave differently in order for me to be happy, I know that they are offering me a wonderful opportunity for self realization. I realized that I really dislike myself when I act "nice" because I'm scared of making other people unhappy. Especially when they seem completely oblivious to the fact that they are a source of irritation and displeasure to me.

I am being less "nice". Period!

After some meditation, gyming and spaing...It occurs to me that

I love the sky, how it changes faces, light now and then dark, how it offers contrast and contours even on the greyest of days, how lovely it is to see the sun peeping for behind the clouds on a crispy November day.

I love the feel of the cold air on my face when the rest of me is cocooned in warm clothes. I love the colors of the leaves on the trees in the fall...red, amber, copper, bright yellow! Especially against a clear blue sky!

I love watching cute dogs being dogs...so easily distracted by anything that moves, sounds or smells. I love watching cute cats...playful as hell even when they have one leg in the grave ;-) I love waking up to the sound of birds chirping as I slowly wake trying to decipher what the hell that song is about :-)

I love feeling my body ache from all the excercise, feeling my heart beat so strongly that I feel the blood pulsing even in my feet, I love being vibrant, alive, present and grateful.

I love being on set, pretending to do, redoing, then redoing again only differently, then waiting, then some more pretending :-)

I love life! and I have a niggly bubbly feeling that life loves me too ;-)

Of uncharacteristic conversations

2008-11-18T13:21:00.002+01:00

Me: (smiling serenely and sweetly) Do you know what this facial expression means?
Him: (Confused and hesitant, as I've stopped him mid sentence)...er...no...
Me: (Very sweetly and slowly) It means "shut the f*** up! I've given my final answer dunderhead! Which part of no dont you understand?

Of mind over matter lol

2008-11-14T09:49:00.000+01:00

'Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who
mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.'

- Dr. Suess

Of being who you want to be...now...today

2008-11-13T11:03:00.002+01:00

I just watched Maria Shriver on Oprah talking about her book Just Who Will You Be? and I loved the message.

Here's a 50 something woman admitting to still discovering herself and reaching for higher heights of her true self...unencumbered by "roles", "rules" and "should bes". She wrote the following 10 pledges to help her be who she wants to be, and urges everyone to do the same (I already have mine and I reflect on them everyday!!!):

Marias pledges:

1. I pledge to “show up” in my life as myself, not as an imitation of anyone else.

2. I pledge to avoid using the word “just” to describe myself. For example, I won’t say, “I’m just a mother,” “I’m just a student” or “I’m just an ordinary person.”

3. I pledge to give myself ten minutes of silence and stillness every day to get in touch with my heart and hear my own voice.

4. I pledge to use my voice to connect my dreams to my actions.

5. I pledge to use my voice to empower myself and others.

6. I pledge to serve my community at least once a year in a way that will benefit other people.

7. I pledge to ask myself, “Who am I? What do I believe in? What am I grateful for? What do I want my life to stand for?”

8. I pledge to sit down and write my own mission statement.

9. I pledge to live my own legacy.

10. And I pledge to pass it on.

I think perhaps the biggest scare of approaching life this way is that there is no recipe for success. Success is not being a mother, being married, having a career as x...UNLESS one has consciously chosen those things from a place of acceptance of oneself. I LOVE IT!!!!!

She was saying that for most women saying NO to anyone is usually the beginning of a negotiation and discussion...when NO is a perfectly finite answer in itself. To which Oprah said that when she says NO to someone and the recipient of the NO does not accept it...she knows that the person is trying to control her. Hmmmm....will be using that one!

Of favorite Abe quotes

2008-11-12T19:23:00.002+01:00

A happy life is just a string of happy moments.But most people don't allow the happy moment, because they're so busy trying to get a happy life.

Savor more; fix less. Laugh more; cry less. Anticipate positively more; anticipate negatively less. . . . .Nothing is more important than that you feel good - just practice that and watch what happens.

Reaching for the way you would like to feel is the easier way to hold your thoughts in vibrational alignment with that which you believe is good.

It's an emotional journey first, more than it is a fixing something in physical form journey.

Make peace with your worst case scenario.

You can't get it wrong and you'll never get it done.

Those people that need you to do something different so that they can feel betteryou want to say to them"you are deeply troubled, and I am not your solution.

If we were standing in your physical shoes, our marriage vows would go exactly like this: “I like you pretty good, let’s see how it goes. lol

You intended to enjoy through action what you had created throught thought.

And the grand finale:

You are loved, and you are worthy, and you are valued andlife is suppose to be good for you. You are worthy, you arevalued, you are loved and life is supposed to be good foryou.

Abraham Hicks

Of redefining Pride

2008-11-11T20:10:00.002+01:00

Overcoming limiting beliefs is about redefining definitions. I've already written about how "Selfishness" is defined in society to be a "bad" thing...I've redefined it to be a good thing. The way I see it, I only really have my "self" as a point of reference for everything else. I am innately selfish, first and foremost...I cannot! not be selfish. Endorsing a societal negative definition of selfishness only puts my "self" at cross roads with itself...which has been my past experience.

On to Pride...here's another one of those "states of being" that have a commonly held negative connotation. I've come across a definition that enhances my life experience...rather than limiting it...and that I now fully endorse

Pride: The recognition, appreciation and celebration of my beauty as an individual and as part of all that is.

of the power of APPRECIATION

2008-11-10T17:39:00.002+01:00

This has by far been the funnest life changing tool so far.
What better way to spend time on a bus, on the train or cycling
than to speak and sing appreciation for what is?

I've had to learn a whole new language
As many others, I was used to beating the drum of what was wrong
Complaining or commenting on the slightest things that were array
It took some will power in the beginning to stop.
To stop that ferocious powerful complaining steam engine.

I'm seeing, smelling, feeling things MORE!
Everything is wonderful and magnificent
Trees that once were invincible to me
Are magical and ethereal!
And their free to look at and everywhere!

Sigh...I have such deep appreciation for what is! :-)

Of getting what you give

2008-11-08T16:50:00.003+01:00

In the span of the last couple of weeks I've heard different people express that "the world is not a bed of roses" in different ways.

I know that the world is what you make it. If you say and think it is not a bed of roses...then...

Of momentous realizations

2008-11-07T20:33:00.002+01:00

Something in the danish papers today got me to look up speeches by Abraham Lincoln and JFK...Obama's speeches bear the same general sense of integrity and vision...

Of being the damsel NOT in distress

2008-11-06T14:33:00.003+01:00

There is something
about being femininely powerful,
perfectly capable yet softly yielding
that makes men want to do things for me

I'm watching in amused bewildered enjoyment
the unfolding and effect of this new me
there may yet be one
to make this divine me
come deliciously undone :-)

Of directional changes

2008-11-05T15:04:00.003+01:00

"Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, "We are not enemies, but friends...though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection." And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too." Obama

Looks like he'll be redefining democracy into something more uniting and individually empowering...brilliant! I'm with!